This weekend I have the most exciting opportunity to see my very favorite band (of all time) perform live. I have seen them many, many times throughout the years but this weekend could be a game-changer. You see, there is a slight possibility (if any and all strings are pulled in the proper order and time) that I will meet the lead singer of said favorite band which has been one of my top five dreams since I was fourteen years old.
There’s just one problem: What would I say if the chance to meet him actually… happened? My friend Lisa and I were discussing this exact matter one week ago when she said to me with absolute conviction, “You must be prepared for this sort of thing. You can’t just go up to the guy without being fully prepared. You could say something really stupid.” She’s right. I mean, very few people still alive in this world leave me feeling starstruck- maybe Ellen DeGeneres and possibly Oprah or Sting, but this guy is at the top of the list. So in an effort to rehearse my celebrity greeting, I’ve decided to come up with a Top 10 List of Greetings in case this thing actually goes down.
TOP 10 LIST OF GREETINGS IN PREPARATION FOR MY STARSTRUCK CELEBRITY MEETING:
10. (High School) “You’re like so, so, so amazing. I love your music so much. It’s so beautiful. It’s totally changed my life, like you have no idea. I love you!”
9. (Flirtatious) “You’re so amazing. Your music has touched my soul so, so deeply. You have totally changed my life in ways you don’t even know. My husband knows you’re my get out of jail free card even though you’re 19 years older than me. What are you doing after this?”
8. (Audiophile) “You sounded amazing. The acoustics in this building are ridiculous- I wished I had recorded it from my seat so I could play it back for you right now for you to hear- it would blow you away. What sort of condenser mic were you using?”
7. (Starstruck) “Amazing! Wow! It’s you! You’re really here! Wow! Amazing!”
6. (Hysterical) “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!!!! (CRYING) I HAVE WANTED TO MEET YOU MY WHOLE (SNIFF, SNIFF) LIFE AND HERE YOU ARE!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S REAL MAN!!! YOU’VE CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE!!! (SOBBING) I OWN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ALBUMS AND KNOW ALL THE LYRICS TO EACH SONG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA (SNIFF) HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MUSIC. (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) IT’S KIND OF SCARY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU MAN… KIND OF SCARY!!!”
5. (Philosophical) “The second verse of the second song you played tonight was amazing. It really touches something so deep in all of us. What sort of “place” were you in when you wrote that? You must be truly brave to allow yourself to go “there”. I envy you and admire you at the same time.”
4. (Political) “It was good you got rid of the other band mates when you did, they obviously weren’t “getting” your vision for the band. I guess it worked because they’re all back now. Time heals all wounds, right?”
3. (Music Snob) “I really feel like your story of the end of track 2 of the B-side was right on point. The composition was incredibly ingenious and really no one else was doing that at the time. The introduction of violins was really clever- at what point did you decide to add them in? I really feel like the third album was a complete game-changer for you even though the critics would disagree. Fuck the critics, I mean really.”
2. (Obsessed) “You’re amazing. No really. You’re so beautiful..I feel like I know you. I did some research online about which lipstick you like to wear and I’m wearing it now. Do you like it? Would you like to reapply yours using mine? We could kiss and then you wouldn’t have to waste any of yours.”
1. (Level-headed) “Hi. It’s really great to meet you. It was a beautiful performance tonight, I really enjoyed myself, thank you. You got me through many awkward years of junior high and high school and I’m pretty grateful for that. I’m a blogger and on Facebook if you ever want to say hello.”
So there’s quite a bit here that I will probably stay away from (you think??). I should most likely just stick with #1 to be on the safe side but I’m so glad I got to work it all out on paper.
Wish me luck!
Keep on keepin’ on and stay grounded if you can help it!