Counting Down to Day 101 (Day 29) of The Middle Path Makeover – Double Agent

What does it mean to be a double agent? I know what it means on this week’s episode of “Chuck“, but what does it mean for the rest of us Non-Federal-Agent-Civilian-Types? Who we are to one person can be very different from who we are to another. Am I right?

To be continued in the morning my friends… sleep calls.

I’m back. So where was I? Ah yes: Double Agent. The term has got me thinking about how many sides I must have and which sides I share and the sides I keep to myself. In Buddhism, there is what we call “Monkey Mind” or “Small Mind” (versus “Big Mind”) but I find I have many Monkey Minds (that rhymes!)

Some examples:

The Competitor – I rarely bring this one out because The Peacemaker side of me rather not be so cut throat. That said, put me in a competition and will I usually kick your ass. 🙂

The Peacemaker – I like this side a lot. The Peacemaker gets along with everyone and makes everybody feel really good about their views, which makes me feel good. Did I mention I like this side?

The Type A Control Freak – I am sometimes embarrassed to admit it, but I do have this side and it’s slightly stronger than I’d like other folks to know about. When no one’s looking, I will line up the remote controls on the coffee table just right. I must have my candles, cell phone, alarm clock and tissue box placed just so on my night table- oh! and I must have a cup of tea or water there as well. When having a conversation with friends or clients, it makes me uncomfortable to turn the focus on me; I much rather listen, so I quickly ask questions to turn the focus back onto them.

The Shy One – I know, I know. Very few people know this about me, but I have a shy side. Unless I’m on stage performing or on a platform, fully prepared to do public speaking, I get shy. I try not to show it on the outside, but on the inside I feel shy. Isn’t that strange?

The Angry One – I’m not a violent type, at all. But when I feel angry (I’m not talking annoyed), you know, real anger? that’s when this side takes over. All I can feel is anger in my body and it’s pretty much all I can think about. I even start speaking in tongues! Okay, I’m joking about speaking in tongues, but sometimes it feels like my head spins around and I start breathing fire! It’s all I can do but just “sit” with this side until I calm down. Yeah, it’s like that.

I’ve got other sides too: the Introvert, the Extrovert, the Smug One, the Sexy One, the Nurturer, the Artist, the Comedian (at least I think so), the Logical One (I don’t see this side very often, although I’m sure the Husband would like it to come out and play more). And the list goes on.

Do you have a list? Do you show certain sides at certain times or are you showing all sides to everyone? I ask because maybe that’s the way to go? Being a Double Agent isn’t necessarily intentional either, so I’m not entirely sure all these sides can be controlled. I guess however you look at it, they’re all parts of me and as long as I’m accepting of that fact than I’m not really hiding anything.

Be true to yourselves,

-Leah Joy, The Competitive, Peacemaking, Type A, Shy, Angry, Introverted, Extroverted, Smug, Sexy, Nurturing, Artistic, Funny, sometimes Logical, Zenful Blogger

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s